Love is never uncomplicated for me. Why? I don’t know. I encountered a song by Corinne Bailey Rae “Till It Happens to You”. Damn wish someone would have told me. Told me how messy love takes away the color of love.
Passion burns hot through our love. We will always have the red heat between us. But due to division in our love only a stripe represents what used to cover the entire heart. The gray covers most of our picture because hearts have been hurt. As I see my friends in similar messy relationships, I begin to wonder has the become the new thing?
What happened to truth? What happened to respect? I can remember times when people may have been in messy relationships, but they respected each other. Respect is now a dirty word as I watch people using innocent children to keep someone close to them. How people use those who love them as pawns in a chess game. What happened to respect? What happened to integrity?
Wait am I fooling myself.
Messy love paints stripes on your heart. The red stripe of passion that comes and goes. The gold stripe of what will be if you ever get there. The gray stripes take up most of the heart because this is where the truth lives. The reality of the love. The pain of the love. The gratitude of the love. The compromise. The purpose for all this is here as well.
But there are times when the purpose gets buried so deep that I forget. I forget that there was a really good reason and purpose for our connection, our love, for each other. But when those moments hit, the real ugly truth of the messiness. I lose a little bit and the color fades a little more. But the shininess of the gold stripe keeps me when he says, “Hey Beautiful”, along with the heat of the passion as he expresses his true adoration of me. That makes it hard to stay in the gray.
So, despite the messiness of this love. I still find the desire to open my heart each time he is near me. To love regardless of what I get back. To love on purpose. Purpose may or may not return to you. So, if you don’t have a good reason (purpose) for loving and staying, then they gray may take over. Allow purpose to be your foundation for love.