I was told today that I should be running towards what I fear most because that is where my breakthrough is. I have been running away love. Love has always been fearful for me because all the people who loved me hurt me as a child. It leaves wounds that are not easily closed.
I reached a point when I decided that I was not going to live without knowing love. I spent years understanding what it wasn’t but did not have a measure for what it really was. But the experience I am having now, has opened my eyes to a new view of love.
Love is scary because it opens you up and makes you vulnerable to another person. It softens your outer layer like a fabric softener does in the rinse cycle. Makes you fresh, soft and feeling new. But you also are open to being hurt. That’s the scary part. Being heartbroken.
Well, I have been heartbroken many times, so much it became my norm. But I got tired of living for pain. I wanted to know what it felt like to be “the apple of someone’s eye. ” Remember my poem “Wanted” that I shared with you a few years ago?
I finally have this in my life. He sees me. He loves me. I am the apple of his eye. How do I know? I see it in his eyes. In his decisions, in his conversation, in his touch, in his heart, but mostly in his love. The way he loves me says so much!
I am facing what I fear the most. My fear of loving someone so much, you feel you will burst. Or being loved so dearly by someone that it overwhelms you deep within.
Lovers, I am finally at peace. I am content because I am facing my fears. I am loving openly and allowing myself to be loved. I even got hurt in this love journey but I am still here. Still loving and being loved.
Why? The love seems to go deeper each time we overcome an obstacle in our journey. We love each other more! We bond deeper. We realize what we really have. In this case facing my fears is also facing love. It is so fulfilling!
Love is never a waste of time, effort, or energy!